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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24379672">Mäuschen</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootiger/pseuds/flootiger'>flootiger</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Tokio Hotel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adult Content, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Recreational Drug Use</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:29:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,715</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24379672</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootiger/pseuds/flootiger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Twins through the years.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bill Kaulitz/Tom Kaulitz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Mäuschen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted on my tokiohotelfiction page on 13 July 2018 :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tap tap tap.</p><p>Movement registers on Tom’s periphery. It’s a stormy night and wind howls outside while rain lashes relentlessly at the window pane. He rolls over, ignoring the tapping and burrowing deep into his covers.</p><p>TAP TAP TAP.</p><p>“Whaaat?” Tom groans, shoving his face into his pillow.</p><p>A muffled voice from outside. “Let me in you moron!”</p><p>Sleep is threatening to drown him once more but then Tom’s entire window rattles as something load and indignant thumps against it. Tom’s eyes snap open and he is assaulted with a beam of torch light burning straight through the glass.</p><p>“Bill,” Tom mumbles in acknowledgement. His twin is perched outside, damp hoodie pulled around his small, bright face and shining eyes glaring in at Tom who feels far warmer than Bill looks. “Time ’s it?”</p><p>Bill gestures violently for Tom to open his bedroom window. He looks mad. Resigned, Tom hauls himself up and unlatches the window so Bill tumbles through and lands on top of him with a heavy oof.</p><p>“You’re lucky my room is on the ground floor,” Tom mutters, weakly attempting to shove Bill off him.</p><p>“Lucky or prepared?” Bill rejoinders.</p><p>“Whatever.” Tom stills feels asleep. “Whose party were you at?”</p><p>Bill shifts, shimmying over Tom’s body and showering him with cold rain as he does so. Tom’s naked torso raises in hard goosebumps. “Mmm,” Bill buries his nose against Tom’s belly. “Jordi’s, his mum was out.”</p><p>Tom grunts and a hand falls absently to Bill’s head, long fingers weaving into the curls, rain and wind mussed. “Fun?”</p><p>Bill shrugs and Tom feels his movement all over his body.</p><p>“It was ok,” Bill is falling asleep already, Tom knows the signs. “I missed you.”</p><p>Tom tenses slightly, always a little on edge when Bill is sweet. The touches and shared body space is fine, normal. But when Bill says something sweet it seems to stir something Tom keeps hidden deep inside him and doesn’t know how to explain.</p><p>“I’ll come to the next one,” Tom promises and Bill’s arms give Tom’s waist a squeeze. Bill is sprawled over him, cheek pressed into his shivering belly, small body between Tom’s legs as he drifts further and further away from the room.</p><p>“Bill,” Tom nudges Bill with his leg. “You’re falling asleep.”</p><p>“Let me sleep here,” Bill mumbles, eyes closed and breathing slowing. “I like it here.”</p><p>There isn’t anything Tom can do so he accepts his beautiful twin, stroking Bill’s hair absently until he falls asleep himself.</p><p>___</p><p> </p><p>“Where did you meet him?”</p><p>Bill is applying a light smudge of eyeliner beneath his dark eyes and their eyes meet in the mirror.</p><p>“At Shay’s birthday last week.”</p><p>“How old is he?” Tom presses.</p><p>Bill’s eyes roll and he leans close to inspect his beautiful face at his vanity. “Oh Tom, what does that even matter?”</p><p>Tom shifts uncomfortably on Bill’s bed as he watches Bill make himself look more and more irresistible. LA has awakened something in Bill and Tom is scared his twin is leaving him behind. “It just does,” Tom says pathetically.</p><p>“He’s older than us,” Bill waves his hand vaguely and Tom knows this conversation isn’t going anywhere.</p><p>Tom leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped anxiously. “Come back, yeah?”</p><p>Bill throws Tom a look that Tom can’t read and he feels that familiar crack of electricity between them, the one they both know is there but won’t truly acknowledge. “I always come back to you,” Bill whispers.</p><p>Unthinking, urgent, Tom pushes himself from the bed and strides over to Bill, gripping his neck and twisting Bill’s face up to meet his own. Bill gazes up at him from his perch by his dresser, eyes hooded and challenging. Tom’s hand slides down Bill’s throat, his heart beats fast. Bill’s lips part. The moment hangs for several seconds and then Tom releases Bill’s neck and leaves the room without looking back.</p><p> </p><p>____</p><p> </p><p>Tom is wasted. There is a girl tucked beneath each arm at their VIP booth, everyone has drinks, Georg is making the group laugh. Bill sits opposite him, a pretty girl pressed too close and sipping a drink through a pink straw.</p><p>They’re famous. They fucking made it. Tom thinks this is their life now, booze and babes and the occasional snuff of something darker. He is young and wild and free. More free than most seventeen year olds.</p><p>One of the girls leans in to lick the shell of Tom’s ear, murmuring something Tom can’t hear above the club anthems. Strobe is making is hard to focus but he manages to turn to face her, grinning dopily as she lowers his gaze to his crotch and then up again to his face, licking her lips.</p><p>It’s so obvious, Tom thinks. So easy. All he needs to do now is walk into a club and he’ll have girls throwing themselves at his feet like he’s a god.</p><p>Someone makes a noise and Tom blinks against the flashing lights. More out of habit than anything else Tom glances up to Bill across the table. Bill’s eyes are drunk, he is frowning at the girl who is trying to kiss him and he looks confused.</p><p>The mood is gone, Tom no longer wants to take both girls up to his hotel room and fuck them until dawn. Tom is wasted, but Bill is more wasted.</p><p>Home, they need to go home. Together.</p><p>Later, they curl around each other sixteen storeys up, empty cigarette butts lying in an ashtray beside a bottle of champagne. Bill had made Tom tell him he loved him and Tom had blushed when he said it but had meant it. As they drift off To thinks how lucky he is to be famous with his twin. He’s not sure how Georg and Gustav do it.</p><p>____</p><p> </p><p>They’ve been scouted. Bill says this is it and Tom believes him.</p><p>“Can you believe it?” Bill whispers excitedly as their mother pours over a contract laid out on the studio table.</p><p>Tom shakes his head, grinning at Bill. He can, but only because Bill does.</p><p>Their mother glances up at them and they both tense. Bill’s hand slips into Tom’s, shielded by his voluminous hoodie. Simone nods once and Bill leaps into Tom’s arms, thin arms wrapping tightly around Tom as they both shriek in delight.</p><p>______</p><p> </p><p>Their first kiss isn’t something Tom ever saw coming. Despite years of words unsaid and secret touches unacknowledged, Tom had long suspected it was entirely one sided and he had grown to accept that.</p><p>They’re at a party, some socialite from downtown LA. Their worlds are blurred and glittering, a shared bomb working it’s way into their system. All Tom wants to do when he’s high is be close to Bill, to touch him, to feel his skin against his, to hold him and protect him. Bill is aways pliant when he’s taken the stuff and tonight is no different.</p><p>Except that it is and Bill is ignoring the throng of revellers surrounding them and is grinding against Tom, pressing their groins together and running long fingers through Tom’s hair. It’s too much for Tom but he knows the rules, he holds Bill close and let’s the feeling of his twin envelop his senses, seep into his veins and invade his mind. Nothing more though.</p><p>“You’re all I will ever need,” Bill leans in and purrs right against Tom’s ear, his tongue dancing out to swipe like a little dirty kitten.</p><p>The words send a thrill through Tom’s body and he gasps, grabbing Bill’s hair and forcing his neck back. The exposed skin of his neck makes Tom groan and he licks a stripe up it. Someone whoops and Tom pulls back, not aware enough to look embarrassed but aware enough to know it’s not allowed.</p><p>Then they are cutting through the party goers, stumbling into a bathroom and fumbling to get closer to each other. Bill is panting, right into Tom’s mouth. Tom can’t help it, he kisses Bill, Bill’s plump lips acquiescing, moaning and opening for Tom. Fingers find the knot in Tom’s hair and tug it lose. Bill kisses Tom back and Tom’s insides are on fire.</p><p>Tom can’t tell if he’s high or in love.</p><p>_____</p><p> </p><p>“We’re not moving far so you can still play with your friends here in Magdeburg.”</p><p>Tom blinks up into his mother’s serious face.</p><p>“I know this is difficult and god knows I would change it if I could,” she looks down and Tom thinks she might be crying but parents don’t cry so he must be wrong.</p><p>“I need you to do something for me,” she says and looks up again. “You two are going to have to share a room from now on. Can you do that for me? Keep each other safe?”</p><p>Tom looks at Bill and knows he is thinking the same thing. “Shall I pack my things now?” Bill asks and squeezes Tom’s hand.</p><p>Simone laughs, although Tom still thinks he can see her eyes are wet. She scoops them into her arms and presses them close to her bosom. Tom buries deep and he can feel Bills warm breath over his nose. He’s pretty sure twins are supposed to share most things.</p><p>______</p><p> </p><p>Tom watches as Bill’s arms and legs start shrinking. He’s stopped eating regularly and Tom knows if it wasn’t for his reminders Bill might forget altogether. Tom thinks back to his naivety and wishes he could take it all back. He would trade every dollar for a quiet escape, a home on top of a mountain and a safe place to take his twin. It’s no longer about the music and that’s what kills them the most.</p><p>Bill is wasting away, perpetually tired. Tom has seen him strip for bed, his skeleton curl into the duvet and disappear beneath it as he closes his mind to the real life nightmares of their fame. It hurts Tom to see Bill like this. He’d promised their mother he would take care of him.</p><p>“I’ve failed,” he whispers one night. He leans against the frame to Bill’s bedroom door.</p><p>Bill is swiping a cotton pad over his eyes, smearing away the black kohl that makes him look so pretty and so gaunt.</p><p>“Huh?” He stops and looks at Tom.</p><p>Tom’s heart is heavy and he lets out a trembling breath. “I’ve failed you.”</p><p>Bill cocks his head, confused. “You’ve never failed me. Not once.”</p><p>Tom has to remain silent for several moments until he is sure his voice won’t crack. “You’re not well… you’re… look at you.”</p><p>“Tomi,” Bill whispers, his voice a rasp. “I’m ok. We’re ok.”</p><p>Tom shakes his head. “This isn’t what I wanted.”</p><p>Bill’s eyes look so big as they stare at him from his bed. “We’ll get through this, I promise.”</p><p>Tom shakes his head again and Bill opens his arms, gesturing for Tom to come. Unable to help himself Tom crosses the small gulf between them and collapses onto Bill’s bed, wrapping his arms around his twin as Bill does the same.</p><p>“We’ve always got each other,” Bill murmurs. Tom wraps Bill up safe.</p><p>“I’ve got you,” Tom presses a kiss to Bill’s temple wondering how much longer they can keep this up.</p><p>_____</p><p> </p><p>They’re less famous now but Tom thinks this is the new “it” for them. They did groupies and stadium tours and paparazzi every time they sneezed. Now they live high in the mountains, a beautiful house designed by Bill to call their own, away from the rest of the world.</p><p>Music is still inside them, but now Tom prefers to play for Bill as they sit around their fire pit and look up at the Milky Way, and Bill likes to sing to Tom as their bodies come together in the quiet of their home.</p><p>They gave it up young. Turned their backs on Hollywood and said goodbye to their celebrity status.</p><p>As Tom pushes inside Bill he knows this is the right decision. Bill keens and arches his long back, his forehead dropping to rest on his forearms. Tom guides himself in slowly, soothing Bill with gentle thumbs over his slim hips.</p><p>“Fill me up,” Bill urges.</p><p>“Whore,” Tom says fondly and leans over to kiss his shoulder blades. The muscles shift beneath Tom’s lips as Bill adjusts himself. Tom watches as his cock slides inside Bill’s ass, pink and slicked with lube and spit. It’s so perfect that Tom has to remind himself this is real, Bill is real and ready for him. This is how they belong.</p><p>Bill’s breath hitches and Tom knows he’s found it. Languidly, he pulses against Bill’s spot and grins when Bill moans and almost collapses against their bedsheets, his knuckles where as they twist into the cotton.</p><p>“I would give up whole universes for this,” Bill hisses. “I would give everything up for you.”</p><p>Tom pulls Bill up against his chest so his twin can feel his heart beating for him.</p><p>_____</p><p> </p><p>Bill is becoming too beautiful for Tom to stand. It’s confusing, his make-up, long hair and even longer legs. Tom tells Bill so.</p><p>“Fuck you.” Bill isn’t pleased. “Let me be whoever the fuck I want. I don’t care who I confuse.”</p><p>“You don’t see what I see!” Tom yells back.</p><p>“And what do you see?” Bill shouts, standing up in the green room. It’s fifteen minutes until their performance. He’s covered in leather, thigh high boots teasing in the low light.</p><p>Tom is flustered and doesn’t know what do to with this beautiful boy before him. “I see… I see… I don’t know what the fuck I see but you don’t look like Bill!”</p><p>Bill is taken aback by this and he closes his mouth abruptly. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Tom knocks back a sip of beer to cool the edges. “I can’t see Bill anymore. You’re too, ugh… you’re too fucking beautiful.” Tom spits out the last word.</p><p>A moment hangs between them, hot and heavy. Then a grin curls at Bill’s lips and he steps toward Tom, scratching one manicured finger down his cheek and to his lips.</p><p>Tom holds his breath as they lock gazes and search each other for something secret. Then Bill whirls round and exits the green room, leaving Tom with a semi and a dry throat. What the fuck was happening.</p><p>____</p><p> </p><p>When one twin is sad, the other is. That’s when they find each other in the night, creep into each other’s rooms and crawl into bed. Sometimes it’s been when Bill has nightmares on tour and they have to press against each other in the cramped bunk space. Sometimes it’s when Bill has broken up with his latest fling and is in need of reparations. Sometimes it’s when it’s not a good day for Tom and the clouds inside his mind seem to obliterate everything except Bill. Sometimes it’s when Tom feels like he’s free falling and only Bill can stop him as he teeters on the edge. Sometimes it’s when they both wake up and know.</p><p>This morning there is a melancholy mood, the sun has not emerged from behind a thick grey sky and thunder crackles high in the mountains. Tom senses it’s time for them to leave LA. They’ve done what they were supposed to here.</p><p>They’ve found each other.</p><p>Now it’s time to move away and live as they are supposed to. Change pushes a blueness over both twins but Tom knows this time it will be ok.</p><p>Bill shifts and drapes a skinny arm over Tom’s torso. Lips find his chest sleepily and Tom tightens his grip, hauling Bill even closer. It’s how they work now, together in every sense. They kiss, they fuck, they laugh, they love.</p><p>Bill opens his eyes slowly, squinting as the morning haze greets him.</p><p>“Morning,” he croaks.</p><p>Tom kisses him, feeling the soft pressure of Bill’s lips against his own, rejuvenating him for the times ahead.</p><p>“This is it,” Bill mumbles and his forehead drops to Tom’s chest. “This is us.”</p><p>“This is it,” Tom repeats softly and kisses the top of Bill’s head.</p><p>Tom isn’t sure how anyone copes without a twin.</p>
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